“What the f%*# are you doing? You’re done. You’ve nothing to prove. This is dangerous…,” the familiar voice boomed.
It was the very same voice I’ve heard speak to me so many times while in line at Starbucks say, “Just grab a scone. You’ve earned it.”
Other memorable lines include, “Why would all these people want to listen to you? Have another one, it’s been a long week. You can rest when you’ve done everything. Come on, 7 reps is enough…who’s looking any way.”
Louder and clearer than usual on this occasion, I’ve come to recognize this inner voice not as an enemy to my success but a part of myself that is inclined towards self-preservation.
I used to think it was the sound of weakness but I prefer the idea that it’s a part of myself that wants what’s best for me, so long as it’s also what’s easiest.
Do you hear this inner voice of “comfort” in yourself?
Are you familiar with the tone and dialogue—even come to expect it?
Over many years of challenging myself and striving from the inside out, I’ve come to expect it to show up when I’m under stress or challenged. And it did not disappoint during my recent cycling challenge, the Triple By-pass.
After a rosy start to the Triple Bypass, as I crossed over four hours in the slim saddle, near the end of a particularly unforgiving 25 mile uphill stretch of road; my body hurting, my focus wavering, the goal still far away—the conditions were perfect for the voice to attempt in some well-intended self-sabotage.
And that’s just what it did.
As my body was pulled inside out and my mind questioned everything, pissed a fit about being here, and began rationalizing why quitting was the wise thing. I simply observed.
“This isn’t my thing any way; I only trained for 2 months, to do this ride is insane; I’ve got no right expecting this out of myself, I’m not 25 any more; this might be dangerous; what if I’m hurting myself?,” the voice went on and on.
How to Stay Strong and Prosper
Whatever your challenge, when the going gets tough expect the inner monologue to elevate—as the voice (which may at times sound like the voice of reason) inside seeks to rescue you from the effort, the sacrifice, the pain—and the achievement.
Relentless, the voice will go through every possible reason why you should stop doing whatever it is you’re doing that’s causing you discomfort. The greater your momentary effort, the louder you can expect to hear it.
Honestly, I think most people’s first reaction is to scream back at the voice—to suppress it. This I tell you, as logically as it may seem, is as ineffective as giving in to it.
Attempt to ignore the voice and louder it will become. To react to it in any way is to drain your own power. Your full Strength is in watching, listening and allowing it do have its say.
From my experience there is but one path for staying strong and conquering any challenge and that’s the middle way—to observe your inner dialogue with presence and compassion. It’s the sort of True Strength of mind that you can witness in a champion like Lance Armstrong.
The more you allow the inner voice without resistance, without energy, the less energy it will possess. But that doesn’t mean it will go away entirely. You may come to find it of value—as a gauge of your effort or a source of motivation, ironically.
You may even find some humor in your voice of resistance, as I did on my ride. There comes a point, when you’re simply observing its increasingly desperate attempts to derail you that it becomes funny. And I tell you, when things were the most challenging before the half way point in my ride, a chuckle didn’t hurt me at all.
Success Lesson #3 Summary
When challenged and especially when in pain expect your inner voice to come to the rescue, to try and save you from this challenge and subsequent achievement—hence, to try and rob you of success. When you know it’s going to come it will not surprise you. When it does come, observe it, allow it and just be a non-reactive spectator.
Then reach for the next lesson, No. 4—“How to Create Rock-Solid Belief to Keep You Going Strong“.
Until Next Week…
Tell Me About Your Voice(s)
Can you think of a time when you listened to your inner critic and cost you?
When have you experienced this inner voice of challenge and how have you prevailed?
| Meet The Author, Shawn | |
 | Known as "The Fitness Philosopher," for his deep, clear approach to the cutting through the fitness conundrum, Shawn is a 20+ year veteran in the field of Lifestyle Fitness and Peak Performance. Author of several best-selling book, with one of the most photographed physiques in history, Shawn, with his brother, Bill Phillips (Body for LIFE) catapulted EAS sports nutrition into the world leader and Muscle Media magazine and the documentary movie, Body of Work. He created the first computerized training system in PowerBuilding and the popular Variable Split System for Muscle Mass. Now, in his 40's, a husband and father of two young children, Shawn is passionate about helping busy, high-achieving "men in the middle" enjoy vibrant, energized, amazing, Full Strength lives! He has recently created the World’s 1st and only true premium nutrition shake for men, Full Strength — clinically proven to build muscle, burn fat and boost energy. His most recent book, Strength for LIFE is the "how to" guide to a Lifestyle of Fitness Freedom. |
5. August 2009 at 2:51 am
Can you think of a time when you listened to your inner critic and cost you?
Ummmm, yip!! Having sex with other ladies when I wasn’t meant too, although costly at the time (relationships) it was part of my development to become more aware now of the voice when “things are tough”, “why not have sex with her, it will make you feel better?”!
When have you experienced this inner voice of challenge and how have you prevailed?
Now, I just observe any Kama Kaza behaviour and ask what is this really about??? Oh so doing X won’t actually make me feel better long term…
I still justify the voice in exercise a little but that is because I come from NO Pain NO Gain mentality where I use to punish myself if I didn’t “perform” in the next training session, good at time but not good long term
Great post Shawn!
5. August 2009 at 7:31 am
Nice comments Spida!
Way to dig in there! Seriously, vividly real examples… I appreciate your contribution.
~Shawn
5. August 2009 at 10:34 am
Curious…
I come from the other end of the pain spectrum. For me, NO PAIN = JUST FINE BY ME. My physique has been an exact depiction of someone not willing to push through the pain, someone whose self talk in the critical moments defeats instead of empowers. I look forward to lesson #4.
I have come a long, long, LONG way over the past couple of years – today I can push through (most times) and look forward to those moments when dragging a deadlift those last few inches for lock-out is all I want out of life. I have become much more aware of the silent dialogue and had to smile when reading Shawn’s post.
My best response nowadays is to laugh, have a good chuckle at the desperation in that well-meaning voice. Laughing isn’t always the easiest thing to do when your under a heavy squat trying to keep your breath locked in – but it does work. It also confuses the hell out of my trainer…
Shawn, you seem to have a habit of touching on the deeper issues of character building that forms the true base of health. As always – looking forward to your next post and thanks for the guidance.
5. August 2009 at 11:31 am
This was so timely for me; I am so discouraged. My doctor yesterday told me lay off the weights due to some tendonitis in my left wrist.
However, what I did this morning was wear a brace, backed way off the weights, and still followed the program. (He did say I could continue lower body.) No pain, and I feel great. I will try continuing on the program but at half or less the weights I was doing, just to keep myself on track. I’ve been feeling great and lost 7.something pounds.
5. August 2009 at 1:41 pm
“Fatigue does make cowards of us all.” Vince Lombardi. When we’re run down, we tend to make decisions that are short sighted. Goals are filters. Capture a vision for your life in 3, 10, and 20 years? Set goals that help you achieve YOUR vision. Write it down. Make it happen. Ask yourself, In light of who I want to become and what my goals are, will this decision move me toward or away from becoming my best self? Be strong.
5. August 2009 at 3:39 pm
When have you experienced this inner voice of challenge and how have you prevailed?
Just NOW!!! Today is my birthday and also a LBWO day for this current Challenge (#8). I hate LBWO and the “voice” was telling me to celebrate my birthday by skipping the damn workout and whooping it up today. However, after reading this KICK ASS message from Shawn, I nailed my workout instead of giving in. Thank you Shawn!!!
5. August 2009 at 7:20 pm
Happy Birthday Chris!!!
Thanks for the message… enjoy your day! And stay strong!
24. August 2009 at 1:11 pm
Hello Shawn: I am interested in your program, especially number 1, that I missed. Yes I had a by-pass 4 years ago, a 4 way. I am doing a few exercises on my treadmill, mainly because of a habit, as I was a fitness teacher for most of my life, Thanks George
24. August 2009 at 1:23 pm
George.
Thank you for your message. Glad you are doing well. Goes to show that being active isn’t always enough to keep one at full strength.
Oh yes, and the “triple bypass” I “did” not “had” was a bike race… or ride for 120 miles through Colorado. It goes over 3 Colorado passes hence the cute, memorable and somewhat confusing name.
Hope that clarifies things… and stay strong! Shawn